Sometimes I feel that life is passing me by, not slowly either, but with ropes of steam and spark-spattered wheels and a hoarse roar of power or terror.
It's passing, yet I'm the one who's doing all the moving.
~Martin Amis, Money
Dear Family & Friends,
The end of each year is always a watershed for me—a flurry of practical busyness, financial and commercial pressures, mingled with sentimental longings I can’t reconcile. It’s a seemingly impossible uphill climb to the actual Christmas Day: I vacillate between feeling overly busy, consumed with getting gifts “just right” or instead feeling guilty, like I should be able to make things simpler, more meaningful. Either way, when the packages are unwrapped and shiny paper litters the floor, Christmas is either an altar to overindulgence or an altar to a God-child---breathtakingly deep or incriminatingly shallow. And perhaps both at once, which troubles me too. Do I take my little world too seriously or not seriously enough?
Then, the New Year looms behind it all—unchartered. I feel the weight of the future poignantly. Who knows what will unfold between the margins of the next twelve months except the Lord? What new challenges we may face, what abrupt changes may burst in, and what familiar, comfortable seasons may quietly fade away without a proper goodbye. Our lives tirelessly plod along, not asking or needing our permission, after all.
This time last year, we had no idea how much change this year would usher in. In March, Briggs lost his position with Wells Fargo after 12 years with some form of the company. What brought us to Asheville (the takeover of First Union by Wachovia) now left us unemployed in Asheville (the takeover of Wachovia by Wells Fargo). Initially we had the wind was knocked out of us. Particularly when our entire family structure hinges upon one income with homeschooling, we felt the financial pressure acutely—what to do? Relocate, retrain, reinvent, reconsider, regroup? Clearly re-something!
Losing your job is a good excuse for a self-inventory if nothing else. It gives you a chance to consider what you’ve done up until now, whether you’ve enjoyed it, and what you’ve left yet undone. We prayed and asked each other questions and asked others questions and asked ourselves yet more questions. Are there talents we are not using? Passions we should explore? In many ways the 40’s is a good decade for such an evaluation—a healthy mid-life crisis of sorts. After all the dust settled, we were left with a clear sense that God was behind it all, that whatever came out of this would all be for our good and His glory. This bedrock has been such a gift!
Practically speaking, Briggs has decided to pursue a career in Financial Planning with Edward Jones. He’s had a passion for investment for years, but never felt the timing was right before. He really likes their business model, so he interviewed with them this summer and began training with them this fall. Truthfully, I still don’t understand when he will have an official “job” or every nut and bolt along this winding way. Their training program is extensive, and he has several big pieces still in front of him—two more tests this month, and if he passes, some training in St. Louis in January, followed by all kinds of quotas and door-knocking (part of their model). If all goes well, he will get his “sell date” in March. So, we are mid-process with the biggest mountains still on the horizon, as he seeks to build a base, but God has been incredibly faithful to us during the transition. Wells Fargo gave Briggs an excellent severance package that gave us time to figure this all out, and we’ve had peace through this process that this is all of and from the Lord, that He will use it for the very best in our lives. Briggs has jokingly admitted that he “is worried that he isn’t worried” at times!
The unexpected flexibility of our schedule during this transition also opened up opportunities for us to do things outside of our usual routine. We had time to take a lingering vacation up North for my eldest niece’s wedding
We took a trip up to New England for a niece’s wedding did the historical Boston thing as the children are studying US History this year (toured USS Constitution, stopped by Bunker Hill, explored Plimouth Plantation) toured Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. We stayed in a Hostel in the White Mountains (bunk beds and communal living, the kids loved it), hiked some cool caves, explored industry in Vermont (Cabot Cheese, Maple Sugaring, and Granite Quarrying). I love the coast of Maine, the misty rolling hills of rural Maine, New Hampshire. We visited Charlottesville, old friends and Monticello on the way home. In the fall, Briggs’ family joined us for our annual beach trip.
All the meanwhile, Briggs immersed himself in some badly need home repairs. I couldn’t begin to remember how long his “honey-do” list was, full of all the undone things that you walk by for years and years until the peeling paint and faded floors become the new normal. But to give a taste of the work---he refinished our wood floors, painted our bedroom, family room, hallway and bathroom, along with dozens of minor unremarkable repairs I can’t bring to mind. I think all of this work was very healthy for him, as he likes to work with his hands and gave him a physical outlet while his mind regrouped.
Time with each other at home has also brought us more in touch with what each of us does on any given day and broadened our understanding of how the Lord works in our lives, to name just a few of the revelations 2011 ushered in.
It has also prompted me to evaluate my role in things---to ponder our commitment to homeschooling (unwavering, as we believe it’s the very best God has for us) and ways that I can supplement our income without detracting from our homeschooling. The Lord has opened up an opportunity for me to become trained in administering the Woodcock-Johnson test, an achievement test that meets the needs of our state homeschooling requirements of testing once a year. The woman who has tested our children for years is retiring this year, so I am blessed to be able to be trained by her and to be able to purchase her testing materials. I’m looking forward to the work—both as a way to give me a chance to exercise my analytical skills and also as a way to encourage homeschooling children and parents. So I should finish my training in the new year and be ready to be ready as the spring testing season rolls around.
We continue to be involved in our homeschooling program—Classical Conversations. It’s a nation-wide group of communities that share a common bond of Classical Christian Education. This is our second year in the program, and it’s been a very good fit for our family. I like the way that the program is not a “drop off” program, but one that seeks to mentor and support the parents as the primary educators. Grace has begun their “Challenge” program this year which is for Junior high/High School level students and is more independent in nature than the lower levels of the program. She is really enjoying the challenge and is very self-disciplined in her studies.
Grace is taking tennis right now and really enjoying that. Also this year, she has begun studying Latin (something I never thought we’d do). I also never thought I would say that I wish I had studied Latin as a child, yet here I’ve said it. Did you know that over 80% of our language goes back to Latin? It’s like unlocking doors to little mysteries and histories with every word you meet.
David has been enjoying Cub Scouts, really loves riding his bike, is learning to keep his room in better shape, and is developing a fast knack for fixing things and solving problems (outside of his math problems that is---no zeal there, more like dragging through mud).
Rose has managed to destroy her entire wardrobe of “decent” clothes and I have resigned myself to the reality that she will wear Christmas sweaters in summer, sandals in winter, and never know where her coat is. She is tremendously tactile, always jumping, crawling (her latest thing is to pretend she’s a dog and run all over the house on her knees…this drives me crazy). Poor mothers---I think it drives us crazy to think our children are regressing! She loves crafting things…sometimes from directions but often from her imagination. I love the way she sees new things in old things, the doors of her mind open effortlessly.
Last January, we also had to say goodbye to our old boxer/bulldog mix Willow. She developed increasingly severe arthritis early last year, to the point where the strongest medications were not effective and our home was filled up incessant moaning. It was sad to watch Briggs, Grace and Rose head off to the vet—especially Rose because I knew she would leave a piece of her childhood at the vets’ that day. Willow was a good loyal girl who appreciated a warm fire, a full bowl of food, and a comfortable place to lay down. After an abusive childhood (she was a neglected rescue dog), she was happy to fall into the simple pleasures of daily family life. I miss her in quiet ways still—especially her soulful eyes that would follow you about the room as you went about this or that.
So, in the spring, we were up for a new challenge and adopted a reverse brindle boxer (almost black with some brown striping) Briggs named Joshua. Honestly, I still find the name a bit offsetting (people names for dogs, not my style), but Briggs said he was feeling the need for a conquering name at the time, so there you have it. He’s named for Joshua from the Bible—a biblical hero dog! ; ) I call him Shuey anyway and a dozen other nicknames so it doesn’t really matter. Joshua is like the last really rotten baby in a big family---he gets away with so many things I never thought I’d allow. Of course, he’s very sweet though and almost a year now (born December 26th). He’s just now starting to bulk up a bit.
Much to my discouragement, we continued our church search in the new year of 2010. Why would the Lord call us to a different church for only a year and then have us move on again? He’s certainly taught me some very quiet but solid things through this journeying. Perhaps one of the greatest things I’ve gained is a heart that finds stability in Christ, not in a particular pastor, circle of church friends, or in the satisfaction of service in one ministry. Not in the familiar trappings of weekly church life, a favorite style of worship, or an accustomed seat in the sanctuary. To be clear, these are NOT bad things—they are all gifts, pieces and ways of knowing Him through others! But the weaning off of these gifts to follow His larger purposes has sharpened my ability to differentiate between the gift and the Giver in ways that are far richer than the things I’ve lost along the way. So though I wasn’t happy to pull up our tent pegs again, I did find myself traveling lighter. January of last year, we settled into New Life Community Church and have had a rather uneventful church year there, which was fitting and perhaps best amid all the other changes in our lives.
I’m still learning humility and how to wait upon His ways and timing. But, I don’t have as many questions as I once did, and not because I am bitter or apathetic but because I find it pleasant to look with expectation to what He will bring out of all this movement. His lead is worth following, not because of anything in me, but because He’s God. I find peace and freedom in that simple truth.
One very sad piece of this year is my brother-in-law’s unexpected diagnosis of kidney cancer in September. We were blessed to be able to make a trip up North in early October to visit with them. God is good, and both Briggs and I came away impressed with their can do attitude and amazing teamwork. They are both “doers,” and I admire how they have regrouped under very stressful circumstances. Life is hard and unfair. God is good. Both of these are true, but the working out of these truths in our lives is a constant battle. Mark would sum it all up by saying “it sucks” but they are putting one foot in front of the other, and facing each day with grit.
Lastly, I must apologize for not getting out a Christmas Letter last year, for those of you who actually read them (which is YOU if you are still reading ; ). Unbelievably, I had a rather creative burst and even put together this kind of “I Spy” montage of moments from our year with highlights, printed them all off in color, addressed half the envelopes, bought stamps and then ended up only mailing through the C’s on my address list. So if your last name starts with D through Z and you are still reading, please forgive me. I also mention it as an encouragement to all those people out there who feel better to know that they are in the fine company of yet another fellow struggling human. It always makes me feel better to know that I am not alone in my failures!
On that note, a brief thanks to all of you who enjoy the yearly letter or who make encouraging comments about my writing. I wish I could say I find joy in writing, but honestly I don’t. I do find much satisfaction when the writing is done, but it is always hard, emotionally draining work . It involves a bunch of wrestling, and I do it more out of a sense of needing to confront and reconcile the various pieces of my life that seem to taunt me until I adjudicate them to the page. And even then they leer back!
It may sound grandiose, but I mean it in a very forthright and practical manner to end with the hope that God will make Himself known to you in new ways this coming year, whether it be the start of a tentative friendship with Him or the deeper whispers of a lifelong courtship. He IS grand, He’s in control, and He longs for the very best in our lives. I sleep much better at night when I can fully get a hold of that! So may your year be filled full of Him and of many other blessings. We would love to hear from you when you have time and inclination.
Love,
Elizabeth
P.S. Some of our numbers and addresses have jiggled around, so just to update: Home 828-367-7423, Briggs’ cell 828-779-1530, Elizabeth’s cell 704-779-4120, briggsprice@gmail.com, elizabethjprice@gmail.com
