Christmas Letter 2013

First, a quick confession:  I tried to pawn this letter off on Grace this year.  After all, she's capable and has more time.  And I reasoned that the weight of time rests lightly on young shoulders. But the desire crept in anyway...

I suspect the desire crept in after venturing into Sophie's World, a breezy novel about a fifteen-year-old Norwegian schoolgirl who explores some rather weighty concepts of philosophy with a mysterious stranger. Grace and I will discuss it soon as part of her schooling. Yes, I'd recommend it, especially as an accessible introduction to the grand world of philosophy...it's a bit like sneaking veggies into meatloaf...

This morning, the following analogy from the story came to mind:

"What a lot of old junk you've collected, " she said.

"Now then! Just think of how many centuries of history I have preserved in this room.  I wouldn't exactly call it junk."

"Do you manage an antique shop or something?"

Alberto looked almost pained.

"We can't all let ourselves be washed away by the tide of history, Sophie.  Some of us must tarry in order to gather up what has been left along the river banks."

This is what I do this time each year.  I gather up what has been left along the river banks of our personal history and feel compelled to sort through the moments, much as one collects shells while on vacation at the shore.  Although we rarely find a use for--or even look closely again at those shells-- most of us delight in gathering them nonetheless.  As if we could preserve the joy of the walk through the keeping of mere shells...

Here are some shells from my walk along last year's shore:

It's been another nose-to-the-grindstone year as Briggs enters into his second year as a financial advisor for Edward Jones.  We talk about the stress, how we never expected to be undertaking such a big adventure in our forties, but here we are.  His timing is always best, in spite of our own packaged notions.  Also, I see daily that Briggs is an excellent fit for this work. He's got a sharp financial mind, a strong sense of ethics, and perhaps most importantly, a heart for helping people.  In faith and reason, we continue to press on...

Briggs in his new office, 23 Orange Street

The high point of his work this year has been the opening of his office in North Asheville, a few miles from our home.  Before this he was sharing an office with a fellow advisor.  Although he's grateful for Brian's support, it's been encouraging for Briggs to enter into his own space. He was blessed to secure a lovely older home that is perfect for his needs--light and airy environment in a good location, homey but professional.  He's also been blessed with an amazing office administrator named Robin. On top of her being a lovely person, she is an excellent complement to Briggs' style.  

A plus with Edward Jones is that they make a point to include family when possible. This June for their regional retreat, we all spent some time in Hilton Head, SC.  Although it's a necessary mix of business and pleasure, we enjoy the time away and connection to other families in his field.  

During spring and summer, we participated in community sustained agriculture (CSA) and went out to their farm several times as part of our "working share."  What a super experience for the children to see how a larger scale farm works, to learn about the different crops they grow, and have a fabulous excuse to hang out in our gorgeous mountains. 

In early August, Rose had a blueberry picking birthday party, and we visited Granddaddy in Charlotte and had great fun at the National Whitewater Center there. We also continued with our yearly September vacation to Atlantic Beach, NC along with a side stop at the Asheboro Zoo this year.  In November, we ventured out to "school days" at the Carolina Renaissance Fair.

Briggs' mom, Elaine, and the family at the Givens Christmas Tea in December

Pieces of our homeschooling year have been transitional and unexpectedly rocky this fall. We have been homeschooling for, gosh, ten years now.  You would think we've had enough time to figure it all out by now! But, homeschooling is more like looking through a kaleidoscope---and a different scope for each child at that.  The picture shifts with every bump of the elbow.  We continue to be involved in our local Classical Conversations community.  I think I mentioned this last year, but it's a nation-wide homeschooling program that comes alongside parents as a resource.  We meet weekly on Fridays and each of our children participate in the program at their own level.  Unlike some homeschooling groups, the program is not a "co-op" or a "drop off," the distinction being that the program does not seek to replace the parent but to empower the parent in their work as their child's primary educator.  Classical schooling is a concept that I've been exploring for several years now and I continue to see merit in the methodology.  I particularly like its rigor and emphasis on skills over content (a concept gaining ground even in mainstream education).

Apple picking in October

One of the strongest pieces of the program, and where I expend a good bit of energy, is with "Essentials" which focuses on developing writing skills and competency in English Grammar. This is my second year of tutoring this class, as it's a great fit for David and next year for Rose.   Encouragingly, I think David and I have discovered a peaceable middle ground this year.  He's (somewhat) resigned to his wacky mother's zeal to brainwash him with grammar terms, and I've learned to reduce some of my expectations so that David can be...well...a bit more David.

Grace, growing tall...

Oddly, most of the rocky homeschool terrain has fallen to Grace (14) this year, a change, as Grace is generally my easy peasy auto-pilot kind of student.  Ah...but we all have our rough patches and desert places--and perhaps especially so in the dawn of the teen years. Although the Classical Conversations program has served her well up-to-this point, I think we've surfed this wave as far as it will go for now. Change is never easy, but we will try out some new coursework and resources this semester.  She will shift to Algebra in a different textbook with a new math tutor and continue to pursue her Latin studies by joining with a Latin II class already in progress.  Another thing that's surprised me is that it's been equally hard for me--to let go of the CC "one-stop" fits all homeschool concept, but life and a good education require flexibility.  And the Lord is so gracious and clever to use it all---for this I am thankful!

Grace stays busy with her many endeavors.  Last spring, she participated in a mock trial with her CC class. Early summer, she played Thisbe in a youth production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream."  Our spring and summer had good dose of Shakespeare in it--between being an audience for Grace's various performances along with other performance we sat in upon for sheer pleasure.  In particular, I think I've maxed David out.   Grace also continues to sing in an excellence local choir for which I am grateful.  This spring she also began babysitting one day a week for a young mother who works in our church.  To Grace's satisfaction and David's surprise, they both entered the wide world of orthodontic care and got braces this June.

On this note, poor David (almost 12) has had to endure an unexpected "Phase I" in braces, including having four baby molars extracted and oral surgery to expose impacted canines.  Ugh. I'm certain that I'm as happy as he is that the worst is over.  I'm hoping that he won't have dental phobias as an adult after all of this necessary but stressful work.  

Briggs' group of Cub Scouts (David in blue) at the crossing over ceremony--
that whole Indians with the headdress thing was something else!

David and Briggs also continue to be involved with Scouts.  This spring he crossed over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts proper. He spent a week away this summer at Scout camp and particularly enjoyed his class in pioneering.  His Granddaddy and uncle got him a nice backpack for Christmas which should serve him well in his adventures this coming year.  David has his own style--he wanted a fedora for Christmas and prefers to let his hair grow.  Looking through photos from the year, it's usually longer than I like, but oh well...bigger battles.

Installing a blue bird home
with Granddaddy

Admittedly, David remains a bit of an enigma to me-- maybe because he's the proverbial middle child and my first proper introduction to "a boy."  I had all sisters growing up.  He prefers to do things in his own sweet time and can be unfocused in his formal studies. But, he is developing stamina and perseverance--bit-by-aching bit--on the battlefield of math and household chores. More than either of our girls David loves to be part of a group. His three favorite days of the week are the days when we are at church, homeschool group, or Scouts.  Like most boys, I think he flourishes with competition and  boy energy. 

Rose and Panda Christmas morning

Rose (9) is resting her head on my shoulder as I type.  She informed me recently that she now has 60 stuffed animals in her collection, including a 40+ year-old panda of my grandmother's that was re-stuffed and freshened up for Christmas. Would you believe that we too sleep with some of her animals each night? As part of her evening wind down routine (a long one), she brings us a rotating cast of animals along with their specific care instructions and reminders of their names.  

Rose has several sweet girlfriends--two of whom are neighbors.  She spends a fair amount of time with Bebe who lives to the right.  They like to play fairy games in my garden and keep house in the tree fort. We love our neighbors--sweet folks who we've enjoyed getting to know better over the last year.  And Rose continues to be tight friends with Maya, who lives directly behind us and Sophia, who is in our weekly homeschool group.  

the contents of Rose's suitcase on the road...

As she's happiest with her hands busy, Rose has taken two pottery classes this year and received a sewing basket for Christmas.  Her latest thing is to wander around the house doing handstands all day long.  As this routinely means knocking into things--including sometimes people-- it's a point of conflict at times.  To our consternation, she refuses to be involved in any form of organized gymnastics.  She would make an excellent saleswoman, as she is tenacious-- systematic in her attack and persistent in her plans.  When we are not around however, she is shy and accommodating.  During warmer (and even sometimes colder) weather, she prefers to be outdoors whipping up mud donuts and poke-berry potions for her restaurant (yes I know, potentially poisonous).  In keeping with her name, she also keeps a close watch on the plants in the garden for me.

Let's see...what else?   What about me?  How am I?   I think women in particular resist that question and perhaps mothers most of all.   Why is this question so pesky?  I once secretly worried that it could be due to a lack of self-awareness or even self-esteem, but I've changed my mind about it. Instead, I believe it's because women are masters at folding themselves into the cracks of other people's needs.  We are bridge builders and gap fillers, chameleons often busy facilitating a larger picture.  I find I am happiest when I'm operating in useful but often nebulous ways that are not readily describable. 

The girls at a local baseball game--go Tourists! 

I continue to be busy with my homeschool testing business, especially in spring through mid-summer which is high testing season. My base of families continues to grow, and I greatly enjoy working with both the students and parents.  There is a tremendous diversity in the homeschooling families of our community, and no single right or wrong way to educate children.  I delight in the different approaches and children I am privileged to work with.  

Outdoors, I continue to play in the dirt and grew some heirloom tomatoes and peppers from seed this year.  I'm rather proud of my success, though it was easier than you would think.  Most of gardening, like cooking, mainly requires an observant spirit, along with a willingness to experiment and adjust.  When gardening, I often think how our pre-packaged lifestyle distances us from the simple pleasures of working the soil and seeing something grow from beginning to end. Such work ties us back into the cycle of the seasons and grounds my spirit.  Our hands stained with yellow, the children and I waged epic battles against the evil bean beetles this summer.  And although the butternut squash I planted never produced a single squash, the volunteers ones in the compost pile birthed several.  Go figure!  Each year ushers in new surprises and lessons. I can't image why anyone wouldn't wish to have their hands in the dirt and watch new life unfold.

Love the deep browns of the Moulin Rouge Sunflower ready to unfold.

Though we love to be home together, as the children grow, we find ourselves outside the home more and more, traveling from this to that, making the most of various opportunities.  I'm still learning to use the awkward chunks of in-between to my advantage, to be at peace with the constant state of interruption. Briggs has been incredibly busy with work, and I'm sad to report that although we've been on several hikes this year, I think this is the first year in many many years when we haven't gone camping at least once. 

Spiritually, what am I learning?   Well, my sister Jill calls it *ping*.   I'm learning to let go, or at least hold more loosely--the many elements and the many people in my life that I cannot impact or change. Sounds simple enough, even obvious, but it's been a long long life lesson. I think growing older forces us to make more efficient use of our time and energy.  At some point we must reckon with our limits, and there is much to be said for developing a healthy friendship with them. If we are wise, I believe it makes us better stewards of our time and more intentional with what is truly important.

I'm also learning to be at peace with the arrival of middle age, with the growing streak of grey in the front of my hair and my now absolutely necessary reading glasses.  The trade off is that I'm also becoming more comfortable in my own skin. Though there is always room for growth, I see the value in appreciating the ground we've covered and the heights we've climbed. It is a great privilege to slowly travel far.  Many people travel too fast, and others do not have the privilege of traveling at all.

Corporately, I wish to thank each of you that gifts us with Christmas cards and letters each year. They require a good dose of precious energy that I know can be in short supply.  Each December, I look forward to the news and the glimpse of your worlds.  Though we live much of our lives in very public or private settings, it is strengthening to know we row very similar boats on our little ponds.   We row together, though we row apart.   I hope that this letter returns the favor--catching you up on our year and our hopes.

The very best to you in the coming year---row on!

Elizabeth & Briggs
Grace, David, and Rose

The charming--and fleeting--joy of stumbling across remnants 
of Rose and Bebe's unstudied play in the garden...