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| Early December, setting out at Sandy Mush to pick our tree... |
Half the joy of life is in little things taken on the run. Let us run if we must--even the sands
do that--but let us keep our hearts young and our eyes open that nothing worth our while
shall escape us. And everything is worth its while if we grasp it and its significance.
-Victor Cherbuliez, French novelist, 1829-1899
Reflection and writing exact a cost. A piece of me would rather not think past today, past this cup of coffee, past today’s to-do list. There is much to be said for living wholly in the now, sending a snapshot of the family and moving right along. But, another piece of me instinctively knows there is worth and perspective in reflecting, “that nothing worth our while shall escape us.” Along with this webpage, we are sending along some physical cards this year for those who have not quite caught the internet wave or may prefer a physical letter. I still love hard copies, crinkly newspapers and thick books too. I like that I can hold them in my hands, page through them, take them anywhere, lose and rediscover them later among other things. The physical has more presence; it shows wear and tear--it can linger.
Thank you for your photos and greetings and especially for the occasional letter and hand-written note. Even if just once a year for some, it’s nice to catch up a bit. I’m glad to see your children happy and learn that you’ve visited many interesting places, but I wonder about the rest of your world too. Maybe it’s just me, but I like knowing more, the ups and downs, to know that you have a few hairs out of place too. Life is full of both joys and challenges. Paul the apostle puts it this way, “Weep with those who weep. Rejoice with those who rejoice.” There is surprisingly solid comfort in having company in both states.
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| Steady rain, overcast afternoon, spectacular country in any weather. |
This is our effort to share some of both. First, we are thankful for:
➽Generally good health. As many know, I had surgery in September of 2015 to address a precancerous growth in my transverse colon. All went amazingly well and my recheck colonoscopy in July was clear. I’m enormously thankful for early detection (I pushed for a colonoscopy at 46 based on family history) and successful surgery in the nick of time. My recovery after the resect has been complete--beyond the scar and about 5” less colon, it’s as if I never had surgery. Briggs also had surgery last fall to repair a torn labrum in his hip and remove a bone spur on his hip socket. His recovery has been slower but steady. We are grateful for all gains and that 2016 required no trips to the hospital.
➽Generally balanced teenagers...they may not think they are “balanced” because they are teenagers, but we think they are doing much better than either Briggs or I were at their age. “Raising the bar a bit, one generation at a time,” is our motto. We are grateful for generally productive and happy kids (when they are not moody, sarcastic, or demanding, ha!)
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| David's idea of cooperating with photos. |
➽A successful year for Briggs as a financial adviser at Edward Jones. After five years of slogging away at his new business, I feel we are finally making some headway. Business is increasing and he no longer feels like the new guy. I’m thankful that he’s able to use his talents to help people navigate their finances--such a useful and needed vocation. In July, he hired a new branch office administrator (BOA), Susan, and she’s been a tremendous help.
➽After 13 years of homeschooling, we will graduate our oldest, Grace, this May. It’s a bit like being married for 22 years, I can’t quite figure out how we arrived here, but hey, we did! Coming to the end of at least one piece of this marathon effort is bittersweet, satisfying and relieving all at once. What’s next for Grace? Who knows. Maybe college, maybe a gap year, but let’s take time to savor graduation. We rush life too much, no?
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| Our oldest, Grace, intent on capturing the moment. |
➽For time with far-away family. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we ventured out on a 16 hour road trip to visit my family in Boston. It was great to catch up with all three of my sisters (two live there and a third flew in) along with their ever expanding families--numerous nephews and nieces, along with grandnephews and grandnieces. While reflecting, we sisters realized we hadn’t shared a Thanksgiving together in at least 18 years, another “how did this happen” moment. For a moment at least, it was good to all share the same room.
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| Love the oranges, browns, and yellows in this scene |
Some of our struggles:
➽Fighting for time for family and for each other. As good as work is for Briggs, this season of his work demands much time. For the past five months, he’s been working six, sometimes seven days a week. Having teenagers pulls our family in different directions too as their worlds widen and grow more complex. Grace, now 17, has her full driver’s licence and is gone often, working at Chick-Fil-A or taking dual enrollment classes at the community college. David, turning 15 this January, is not far behind; he’ll get his provisional permit in January. Growing and changing by the minute, David is alternately sleeping, studying when necessary, staring at a screen, picking out tunes on our piano, or out and about with friends. He’s newly involved with a FIRST robotics club which promises an intense spring competition schedule. This along with Boy Scouts and Youth Group activities means he (and we) will continue to go, go, and go.
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| A muddy somewhat picked-over hillside--very slippery |
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| In fact, David slipped in the mud, yah...not cool. |
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| Not a video, but for posterity, here's the tree we chose, a White Pine. |
➽This teen season of life is not as charming or straightforward as the childhood years. Gone are the cute expressions and bright toys. Instead our home is full of growing pains and searching--mentally, physically, spiritually. This season demands fresh stores of patience, wisdom, gentle guiding, and a need to step back---all this when we’re truthfully often tired and longing for clear-cut solutions. What I wouldn’t give for a little less drama each day. Also, this season requires endless driving between outside homeschool classes and activities, which like the blur of dishes, meals, and grocery trips, I’m learning to accept. Rose, at 12, is our last touchstone to simpler times, though she has one foot fast in adolescence, pivoting between the two. Depending upon her company, she may be playing with dolls or or asking me if this or that outfit “looks okay.” Yikes. Our zipline is quieter these days--the grass has grown back over the worn path. The swings are still used, but mostly for reflection. I can’t remember the last time someone went down the slide. The “first” moments of our children’s lives arrive with fanfare--we remember, document, and memorialize, but I find the last moments quieter, tender. Half-aware, it’s easier to let them slip by.
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| Not happy about the mud OR rain OR trip (we made him late for Youth) |
➽It’s been a year of recalibration and adjustment with homeschooling. This fall was a particular mess. In August, one of our linchpin tutors stepped down, retiring abruptly two weeks before classes were to begin. As all three of our children were taking multiple classes with him, this was a landmine in our schedule. Homeschooling keeps you flexible, that’s for sure, but truth is, we are still reconfiguring. The upside is that we’ve had some terrific new classes through a homeschool group and are growing new friendships, yet academically there are still holes to fill and things to tweak. Always the tweaking….
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| Not happy about the White Pine, Christmas "ruined" without a Fraser Fur. |
➽Without dragging you into the mire, our local church has had a rough but growing year. Why bother to share this? Because faith requires persistence, overcoming obstacles, and I feel that we gloss that part over too often. Difficulty in the Church is not new; the book of Acts and Paul’s letters are full of church drama. When Jesus was most vulnerable, Judas betrayed and Peter denied--yet, the Church prevailed. The broader message stands: despite our shortcomings and screw-ups, there is hope for us all. Perhaps a better question is “why are we still surprised when people fail us?” Most of us realize we are adept at disappointing others and ourselves in small and big ways, yet failure still catches us off guard. Jesus knew better. I think of John’s comment: “Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people.” We would do well to hope less in people and hope more in God.
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| Tree trailing us... |
➽Finances--even though Briggs’ business is going well, we are still, by planning and choice, a predominately one-income family with three children who have increasing financial needs: college, braces, classes, activities, driving insurance, and cars. All of these, along with the usual bills and increasing food expenses mean we are stretched tight and tighter. Our 1956 house is old and needs work. Things break and wear down. Yes, I could and do “work outside the home” by administering homeschool testing to offset bills. But, we continue to view homemaking and homeschooling as my primary vocation, an increasingly rare counter-culture perspective we realize.
➽More health stuff---at 47 and 51, although we are thankful to get past the surgeries, we are still struggling with aspects of our health. Briggs’ hip is mostly, though not fully, recovered. He’s found stretching and exercise most helpful, but it’s hard to be consistent. I’ve had chronic pain with my piriformis muscle/sciatic nerve since July despite various consults, tests, and therapies. This difficulty has increased my empathy for and awareness of those who struggle with chronic pain as a permanent way of life. Both of us could stand to lose weight and maybe some stress too. We feel like we are bearing a lot and look forward to some release, though we’re not sure when it’s coming!
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| The only child who would cooperate at this point for a picture--Grace, our good sport of the moment. |
We’re hanging in there, enjoying both the challenges and rewards of this life. When discouraged, I think of a favorite passage from Romans: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.” Interestingly the root meaning of “problems and trials” is literally pressure, to crowd. It’s much like the “pressure” we intentionally place on our teenagers at times---never enjoyable from either end but undeniably necessary and productive nonetheless. We believe God permits and uses such pressing for our ultimate good and His glory. Yes, the particulars remain mysterious and challenge us at times, but we are thankful for His patience, wisdom, and gentle guiding. He does not tire as we do, unchanging amid all the running sands and change in our lives.
All the best to you and yours in 2017. Our prayer for us all: May we be pressed just enough to produce endurance and character, that these would yield hope. May our hearts remain young and our eyes open that nothing worth our while shall escape us--or at least not too much. ; )
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| Grace took this one from the muddy hillside---beautiful and peaceful--at least in the photograph. |
